Tea vs. Coffee

Husband: So when I finished making Lil Fellla's breakfast I went to make coffee and discovered....  "FUCK I'm out!  Thats ok, I'll just make some hot water and make some tea."

Let me tell you something

TEA PISSES ME OFF!

Me: LOL, make some red bull in the sodastream then.

Husband: Tea makes me want to punch people who can't grow up and drink coffee like a fucking adult.

I was going through the kitchen like some sort of tired angry bear.  But I got lucky and found that instant starbucks stuff.  It's better than fucking tea.

Me: Well Lil' Fella got up and dressed by herself so that should make you happy!

Husband: "Ohhhh look at me I'm fuckface McHipster!  I drink the worlds most popular drink because coffee is too mainstream!  Oh and I like to play with teabags!"

I'm adding tea to my list of movements I am against! So it's number 2.

Me: Oh sweetie, drink your instant coffee and calm down. It'll all be ok in a few minutes.

Snow Day

Me: Everything is closed. You can go back to sleep.

Husband: Is my school closed?

Me: Yep, well morning classes anyway.

Husband: Is Lil' Fella's school closed?

Me: Yep.

Husband: Is Home Depot closed?

Me: Well, I'm pretty sure Home Depot will be open... why?

Husband: Do they deliver Mexicans? I don't feel like clearing the driveway.

Me: I don't think so. You'd have to go all the way to Lorain at least and even then, you'd probably get Puerto Ricans.

Handy Manny

We were sitting in the office while Lil' Fella was watching Handy Manny in the living room....

Me: So who is Manny trying to hook up with?

Husband: Probably the lesbian at the hardware store.

Or Dora.

Me: Ok, Number 1- Dora is like 6, so no and Part B- She's on an entirely different network.

Husband: Don't you judge their culture! Besides... how long has Dora been 6? Like a decade? She's old enough.