Husband: Ok, I think we need to pull Lil' Fella from that school!
Those mother..... DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TEACHING HER?!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: What? School stuff? Letters, numbers, how to not have social anxiety disorder?
Husband: Little bunny Foo Foo was hopping through the forest, picking up field mice and "TICKLING THEM ON THE RIBS"!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!?
Me: LOL OK not pulling her from school.
Husband: Field mice don't get tickled on the GD ribs! They get bopped on the GD head! In fact, bop the shit out of that little fuckers head!!!!! FFS! They are robbing her of her childhood violence!
Me: Yes, because she needs to like dead bodies MORE than she already does.