My Minion

Me: I'm irrationally angry at my minion. She's listening to the radio on her side of the lab (the real radio) but she's got it cranked louder than mine and she keeps leaving the lab to go run the tests she's doing for Bossman over in the QC lab. She's gone for at least 15 minutes each time and meanwhile I have to listen to people talk talk talk annoyingly and I want to crank my Pandora to compensate but I don't want to make Surly IT Man across the hall mad because then he'll develop a sudden need to ban internet radio.

Husband: So ask her to turn it down a little.

Me: Well, I'm not really her boss though. Bossman is, and I don't want to be a bitch.

Husband: Well you could go over there when she is gone and cut the cord.  When she comes back say in a panic "Holy shit!!  Fucking NINJAS attacked and tried to steal our formulas!  Luckily I defended the lab, but in a last ditch effort they tried to destroy our equipment.  I'm sorry, but I think they did some damage to your area.  I've called in some of my friends from a rival clan to track them down, but sadly we suffered a great loss."  Then just turn and walk away.