Husband was getting dinner ready and I went to fetch Lil Fella from the neighbors. I walk in to Husband with a blood soaked towel wrapped around his finger.
Husband: Everything's fine! There's no problem here!
Me: Did you just cut the tip of your finger off on the mandoline?
Husband: Yes. That is exactly what I did.
Me: Jesus. Do you need stitches?
Husband: No, we ain't go no money fo dat!
Me: We have health insurance, honey. That's what it's for.
Husband: It's fine! If I need stitches, I'll just get drunk and do it myself!
Me: That sounds like a very poorly thought out plan of action.