(Puts Nu Skin on his missing fingertip)
Husband: OH HOLY FUCK BALLS THAT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!
(Whines and cries for a few minutes)
You know, if we started putting that on Lil Fella every time she got an "owie" she'd stop asking for bandaids...
Husband: Lil Fella do you need a bandaid? and she'd be like "NO! IT'S FINE!" and I'd be like "But honey, you're arm's been amputated!"
Me: LOL, good idea honey.