Me: JTFC jerk, did you fall asleep watching porn again?
Husband: *Sndegfohi* NO!
Me: Then why are you sleeping in your chair at 5AM with porn music playing?!
Husband: I fell asleep playing Trivial Pursuit on Xbox- WITH MYSELF! DON'T YOU FUCKING JUDGE ME!!
Me: Oh, I'm judging you. A LOT.
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