Husband: Ok jerk, if you see a paper towel on my desk or trash that is stiff IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!!!!!!!!! Lil Fella left her glue out and open all night so I had to fix it! THAT'S ALL!
Me: LOL, ok honey.
Husband: I just know how you like to judge me like I'm some kind of self sexual predator or something.