Husband: Today is a very sad day that will not be soon forgotten. We all need to have a moment of silence as the world mourns the loss of my nipple shoes. They were great "Jap Slaps" and will probably never be truly replaced. Now I know you're very upset at this news and are probably yelling to the sky like I did "WHY GOD... why?!?!" Just remember I love you very much and I think we can make it through these hard times... Stay strong and if you need to talk I'll be here.
These were the "Nipple Shoes":
(This was an email he sent while he was in the 'stan)