I planted my seeds for my garden in the basement this year instead of buying plants at the greenhouse. I didn't realize until I planted that our cellar had a few mice in it because they dug up and ate all my seeds. Husband bought me some traps and I set them up and waited for the carnage. The next morning:
Husband: I just went downstairs to switch my laundry over. Your mouse left you a note.
Me: In blood or peanut butter?
Husband: It said, Dear Human, Thanks for all the peanut butter, I love it. If you were trying to kill me, go fuck yourself.
Husband: Oh no honey, you don't understand. All six traps were stripped clean and not even moved. I think you need to get me involved.