Me: I woke up with a nosebleed this morning. I'm pretty sure it's nostril cancer. I'm probably going to die, so you better get this single father thing down.
Husband: LOL OH no honey. If you die I'm going to remarry very quickly. But before you take it the wrong way, I'm going to marry a hot gay chick.
Me: Lame. I do not accept this. I expect a full year of formal mourning. Black every day. Followed by another 6 months of half mourning. Then maybe you can date.
Husband: Oh right, because you'd do that for me.
Me: I totally would!
Husband: Nope sorry, Tim already sold me on the idea of it.
Me: Well if Tim said it.... by all means.
Husband: He posted these funny ass pro gay videos. You should check them out. Anyway, if I die, I'm totally fine with you marrying a gay dude the next day. In fact, if I'm on my death bed, bring him in. I'd like to meet him.
Me: I wouldn't marry a gay dude, I probably wouldn't remarry at all. I'd become a crazy craft/ animal lady who makes sweaters out of her dogs fur.