Friday, May 3, 2013

At work

Me: So BossLady left and I had a sudden personality change- now I'm aggressive.

Husband: So a month ago you were a superstar and now you suck?

Me: Pretty much yeah, I'm hoping Bossman is just getting used to being a manager and it will be better soon.

Husband: Maybe, but if you want to or have the time find out what he likes to do. Hell see if he likes to fish. Not just for me, but I've found the more you get to know your boss the more shit they let not bother them.
Like me taking my pants off yesterday. Normal people would get fired. Me..... I get "Mac pull em up unless you lave a license to sell hot dogs!"

I'm not saying do the shit I do at work... GOD PLEASE DON'T DO THAT!!!

Me: Why on earth did you take your pants off at work??

Husband: Because it was 95!!! To be fair they weren't all the way off, just a little past my knees.

Me: Oh honey...

Husband: Don't "oh honey" me! That's the tamer side of the shit I pull. A few hours before the "shorts" issue we sat down to brief. His hand was cold from holding an ice pack and he put it on my knee and was all like "Is that cold?" So I took the hint and asked him if he was hitting on me because if he was my wife said if it was another dude it was fine. Then when he was all shocked and weirded out I said "Come on bro, let me finger blast that B hole" 

Me: OMG honey what is wrong with you??

Husband: Gross I know, but I don't like people touching me and that way is better than yelling to not touch me. Because then every one has to touch me to fuck with me. School yard rules honey, show no weakness!!

Lol so yeah, don't do the shit I do at work.