Husband: So the guys and I are going to rent a boat to go out on Lake Erie. I looked in to a boating license and it's like 30 bucks and it's all online. So I'll stop bugging you about a boat.
Me: Ok but before you go, I want you to prove that you can swim.
Husband: Honey, I'm part manatee, you've seen me naked!
Me: LOL, I'm not joking here.
Husband: I can swim. Remember, I had a big brother who tried to kill me all the time.
Me: You've said that many times but I've never seen you swim. Ever.
Husband: Because I don't like to. I can also chug a bottle of liquor but I don't see the point. I'm pretty sure you've never seen me do that either.
Me: Well I need to see you swim at least a couple of laps or I'm going to rent my own boat and follow you in case you fall off and drown.
Husband: How long is a lap?
Me: 25m or 50m depending on the pool.
Husband: Umm that's a long way to doggie paddle.. does floating count?
JUST KIDDING! GEEZ! What do I get out of this?
Me: A BOATING LICENSE!!