Me: Are you going to wake your ass up and help me with the yard?
Husband: It's a holiday today!
Me: What holiday?
Husband: May the fourth, of course!
Me: Oh FFS, that's not a real holiday, we've got shit to do.
Husband: LOOK AT MY DOG TAGS! MY RELIGION IS CLEARLY STATED AS "JEDI KNIGHT"! So today is a holiday for my religion.
Me: And when was the last time you attended services?
Husband: Well the next time I'm in Australia or the UK, I'll be sure to go.
Me: But we were in Scotland on our honeymoon and you did not express a desire to go to the church of the Jedi order.... CHECKMATE! ATHEIST!